Choose To Be Happy

I'm sure you hear people say it all the time. Social media is flooded with it. There have to be at least a thousand memes that tell us to do it.

Choose to be happy.

It sounds simple enough, but have you tried it yet? Sometimes choosing to be happy is not nearly as simple as it seems. In fact, sometimes it seems impossible. You try to do it, but it just doesn't work. And you never seem to know why.

From my experience, there are three main reasons why choosing to be happy can be so hard:

• Lack of peace with your past
• Lack of joy in your present
• Lack of hope for your future

Pretty much everything that gets in the way of your happiness can be put into one of those categories. So, let's take a look at each one of them and what you can do about it.

Make peace with your past.

This can be a hard one. Most of us have pasts that are littered with bad choices, failed relationships, employment mishaps, etc., etc., etc... The list goes on and on.

And all of those things can leave you feeling regretful, angry, bitter, ashamed... This list probably goes on longer than the first one.

How can you possibly choose to be happy when you are full of such negative emotions? I'll tell you how: YOU CAN'T!! So, finding a way to make peace with your past and let go of all those negative emotions is critical.

The easiest way to do that can be summed up in one word:

That's right. Forgiveness. It can make such a huge impact on your emotions toward your past.

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made. Forgive yourself for the dumb stuff you've done. Forgive yourself for the things you should've done but didn't.

And give others that same forgiveness. Forgive others for the mistakes they've made. Forgive others for the dumb stuff they've done. Forgive others for the things they should've done but didn't.

To truly forgive yourself or someone else, you've got to completely let go of the hurt that occurred. There is no half-way on this one. If you're still holding on to it even the tiniest bit, you haven't truly forgiven.

And you have to truly forgive yourself and others to have peace with your past.

Find joy in your present.

Some days it's easier to do this than others. When life is going great, it's easy to find joy in the things that are happening. But, what about when things aren't so great? Bad things happen all the time, and they are usually completely out of our control. So, how on earth are you supposed to find joy in the middle of those bad things?

Here's the truth of the matter: most of what happens to you isn't nearly as bad as you make it out to be. But, you focus on it. You dwell on it. You turn a molehill into a mountain.

So, you just need to shift your perspective. If it won't matter five years from now, it shouldn't matter five minutes from now either. When something bad happens, deal with it and move on. Don't let it ruin your day, week, or month. Keep the big picture in mind, and don't let the little things get you down. Keep your eyes on what is going right, and be thankful for those things.

With the right perspective, you can always find something to be joyful about.

See hope in your future.

We usually feel hopeless when we feel helpless. It's easy to feel like you are stuck. Stuck in a dead-end job. Stuck in a bad relationship. Stuck in a bad financial situation. And being stuck is never a good place to be.

In order to feel hopeful, you have to feel like there's something you can do about your current situation. And, the best way to feel that way is to simply act.

Action is empowering! If you feel stuck in your job, relationship, or finances,  do something about it. You may not be able to fix your situation overnight, but you can take small steps each day that will add up to big change over time. Taking those steps will help you see that you really aren't stuck at all. And when you stop feeling helpless about your future, you can start feeling hopeful about it.

Choosing to be happy is not always easy, but it is possible. Forgiveness, perspective, and action will lead you to peace with your past, joy in your present, and hope for your future. And once you can do all of that, choosing to be happy is a breeze!

Stephanie Antkowiak is the Fitness and Wellness Director at the Invictus Institute. She has a Bachelor of Science degree in Education and almost two decades of experience in teaching and children's ministry. She is a 3rd degree black belt, and has been in the martial arts and fitness industry since 2000. She does group fitness instruction and wellness education for the Invictus Institute in addition to being a full-time wife and mother of three.